Monday, August 11, 2008 // 4:55 PM
you're not here for me,
afterall.
i don't want to turn this way either.
looking back, i really miss the old me.
where you will say how stupid i am, how simple-minded i am.
times when i couldn't get what any of you all were saying.
times when i would just sit there and stare into space while you all continue talking about topics i don't understand.
now these 2words have no connection with me.
in the past, i would get angry with my girls over a certain matter.
but now, i'm in no position to be angry with you all.
during the hard times, i've given you all so much headaches.
guessed you all didn't know what to do with me either.
all i can say is sorry.
so many things are happening at the same time,
they're suffocating me.
i don't know how to handle any of these.
i'm really tired of pretending to be strong.
this morning, as i opened my eyes,
the first thing i thought about was
how good it is if you're still my listening ear.
you've got no idea how much hurt you've left with me.
i hate what i'm seeing now,
i wished it was all a nightmare.
i'm sorry to all those i've disappoint.
i'm missing you alot now, though i know nothing would bring you back.
i don't wanna believe what i'm seeing. i really hope this isn't true.
god, don't be so cruel to me, will you?
i know i haven't been a good girl recently.
but this is really too much for me to take.
take me away from all these pain, i'm really breaking down,
this is my limit.
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